An entry of many things...

Shuli left today in her tiny car with.... a LOT of luggage.... Had a hardout day at uni, came home and somehow... the fact that her bedroom door was wide open.... her room is empty... there's no shoes on the shelf, and the fact that I was completely alone in the house was just....weird. I wonder if that's how my family felt when I left this year.

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Had a talk with one of my classmate friday last week, as it turns out she's doign pgdip like me, and she's a friend of Katherine's, the one doing Masters at Foodsci in Auckland. Apparently she was quite frustrated because no one is willing to help her... and I understood completely, I felt the same when i was doign studentship. At that point in time, i coudln't express how... lucky I am. There's a shortage of Basic strawberry jam in palmy. I coudln't find it in countdown for 3 weeks in a row. I told my supervisor. He VOLUNTEERINGLY went to both Woolworths to check it out for me.. not once, not twice, but three time. while the result is still the same, it's the fact the he was more than willing to help.

My sensory panel, the 3rd years are doign it as part of their assingment... so I told my lecturer about the shortage (the lecturer teachs at Albany, and comes down every monday to teach). She said "that is not a problem at all, I'll go look for it for you in Auckland and send it down" While I haven't got the samples yet... i am hoping that I will in the next few days.

I am... very lucky... and I know it.

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900+ applicants, 200+ through to phone interview, 40 through to assessment day.

2 days stress over perfecting CV and cover letter, 1 morning preparing and taking the 30 mins phone interview. 2 days preparing for the psychometric testing. 1 day + many postage from mum to prepare for documents and attire for assessment day. 1 cold for walkign in the rain.

I lost at the last hurdle. Whilst it's not confirmed, ppl who got accepted already knew, I am more than prepared to accept my email of rejection.

In many ways, i knew it wasn't meant to be, when my classmates tell me they found certain tasks in the assessment day 'interesting and fun' when I thought it was just plain stressful. That's solid proof that while they are comfortable what is asked of them, I was doing somethign clearly out of my comfort zone.

In many ways, it's a huge relieve. I found out the programme isn't as glamourous as i hoped it'll be. I found out that another year of sacrifices may not lead me to where I wanted to be. I was unsure if I wanted to spend another year or 2 away from home when my time left to spend with emily is becoming short.

All I want to say is....

AUCKLAND 2008, HERE I COME!!!!